Sex Is Awesome, Shame Is Bullshit

ihavebeensherlocked: SHERLOCK TEA COLLECTION GIVE AWAY! Awesome news guys! The cool folks at Adagio have been kind enough to help out with a giveaway for a complete collection of the Sherlock Tea blends. That is 11 bags of different tea featuring art work by yours truly. That’s about 50 servings in each bag. More if you re-steep your tea (which is possible with most of them). That is a LOT of tea. How bonkers is that? Very. It’s awesome. Here’s the lowdown on how to win A WHOLE BUNCH OF TEA. Anyone ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD can enter! If you live outside of the U.S. I’ll foot the bill to get you some tea myself. Because odds are you are awesome and you deserve it. You do not have to be following me to win, but it might be helpful to keep track of updates or changes (if any). Plus I plan to make some blends for other fandoms in the future, so if tea is your thing, it might not be a bad idea? Only two reblogs a day allowed.I did not realize how often people would reblog my last give away soooo I’m going to enforce this LOL. You can reblog on as many days as you’d like, but yeah, only 2 reblogs a day please. I’ll be checking. The give away will end and I will choose a winner on Wednesday March 7th. I’ll probably choose late at night on that day, so I’m going to say I’ll stop counting reblogs at 10 p.m. EST. [ADDED] LIKES DON’T COUNT. Sorry! You have to reblog! A big thanks to Adagio for hooking us up with some awesome tea, and for all of you for following me and encouraging my tea-y ways! Good luck everyone!

ihavebeensherlocked:

SHERLOCK TEA COLLECTION GIVE AWAY!

Awesome news guys! The cool folks at Adagio have been kind enough to help out with a giveaway for a complete collection of the Sherlock Tea blends. That is 11 bags of different tea featuring art work by yours truly. That’s about 50 servings in each bag. More if you re-steep your tea (which is possible with most of them). That is a LOT of tea. How bonkers is that? Very. It’s awesome. Here’s the lowdown on how to win A WHOLE BUNCH OF TEA.

  • Anyone ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD can enter! If you live outside of the U.S. I’ll foot the bill to get you some tea myself. Because odds are you are awesome and you deserve it.
  • You do not have to be following me to win, but it might be helpful to keep track of updates or changes (if any). Plus I plan to make some blends for other fandoms in the future, so if tea is your thing, it might not be a bad idea?
  • Only two reblogs a day allowed.I did not realize how often people would reblog my last give away soooo I’m going to enforce this LOL. You can reblog on as many days as you’d like, but yeah, only 2 reblogs a day please. I’ll be checking.
  • The give away will end and I will choose a winner on Wednesday March 7th. I’ll probably choose late at night on that day, so I’m going to say I’ll stop counting reblogs at 10 p.m. EST.
  • [ADDED] LIKES DON’T COUNT. Sorry! You have to reblog!

A big thanks to Adagio for hooking us up with some awesome tea, and for all of you for following me and encouraging my tea-y ways! Good luck everyone!

(Source: areyoutryingtodeduceme, via ohwhatatragiccost)

Sometimes, when I think about HIV, I just want to punch my peers in the face.

decidedlydapper:

If you’re going to have consensual, noncommittal sex with a bunch of guys, that’s fine. That’s your call, even if it’s not my style. (I am what you might call a “committed-sex slut,” which means I want all the kinky sex, but with my partner/spouse.)

But no matter what decision you make, you have got to take responsibility for your safety and that of your partners. Use barriers (condoms and gloves) and lube. Participate only in lower-risk activity (handjobs! frottage! intercrural sex!). Get tested like it’s your motherfucking job.

Don’t like condoms? Then you better get real good at giving handjobs. Latex allergy? LET ME SHOW YOU ALL THE LATEX-FREE OPTIONS. “Too big” for a condom? Fuck that shit—I can roll a condom over my fist and up my arm, if your dick is bigger than that, you should probably see a doctor.

I don’t care how “good” the drugs supposedly are these days. I don’t care if there are posters showing active HIV-positive guys with much better quality of life than they had when Tom Hanks was shooting Philadelphia.

I’m not going to tell you to stop having sex, but if you are old enough to stick your dick in someone else’s ass, you are old enough to take precautions.

Also, allow me to state for the record that I do not hate people with HIV. I hate HIV itself. I hate what it does to people. Just like I hate cancer—and if someone told me that you could greatly reduce your risk of getting cancer by taking a few simple precautions, I’d do it.

I feel really strongly about promoting safer sex and reducing the stigma against HIV-positive people. Maybe it’s because part of my job was to do HIV testing and counseling.

Or maybe because some people my age make stupid fucking choices. I wish I better understood why.

  • boy: i just masturbated lol
  • friend: lol me too *high five*
  • girl: i just masturbated lol
  • friend: that is disgusting omfg why would you even say that you are such a slut omfg can you calm down with your libido please i really don't need to know about your immoral acts of debauchery you wanton mistress of the night
transfigure-this: nakedhermione: A completely new way of waking.  An alarm clock that wakes you with pleasure. The lowest settings are almost imperceptible. The Little Rooster does not wrench you from your sleep.   Then the power slowly increases.  The Little Rooster wakes you gradually, sensually, tenderly. What makes the Little Rooster really special is that delicious semi-conscious state when you’re not yet quite awake. Other alarms tear those precious moments from you. The Little Rooster not only lets you savour them, it makes them even dreamier.  Whether you leap straight out of bed or let it run its lazy course, no other clock will wake you with this joyful secret thrill. Fits your body perfectly.  The Little Rooster curves comfortably around your pubic mound, inside your knickers but outside your body.  The wide flat head stabilises the Little Rooster against your pubic bone and is exceptionally thin for maximum comfort.  The vibrating leg rests against your clitoris and labia.  No part of the Little Rooster is worn internally.   Most women become completely unaware of the Little Rooster within a minute of slipping it into their knickers.  Toss and turn and it will stay in place.  You can even walk around wearing your Little Rooster.  Can be soothing for long journeys.  Please do not use during take off and landing. Fully personalisable.  Adjust how gently it starts, how intense it gets, the snorgasm level, how long it lasts.  The Little Rooster has thirty power levels, for precision pleasure.  The motors even run while you set them, so you can tell exactly how powerful the feeling will be. Snooze.  The classic way to catch an extra wink. Snorgasm.  A pleasure-snooze, as gentle as you wish. Lets you drift off and enjoy a ten-minute erotic slumber. Play.  Slide the switch to ‘play’ and it’s a stunningly shaped variable speed two-motor pleasure toy.  Take control once you are awake - or whenever the mood takes you.  Two motors for extra throb.  One motor feels great, two is something else. They interact with each other, throbbing, pulsating. If you’ve tried a dual motor pleasure toy before, you’re probably a convert. If you haven’t, you’re in for a treat. And extra power.  The Little Rooster’s stimulation goes from butterfly to beast.   Twenty seven silent settings.  Plus three extra powerful “turbo” levels.  For those moments when intensity is the the only thing that counts. It is perfect for early risers. Waking you with pleasure, it bothers no-one else with noise.  The Little Rooster is the most considerate alarm clock in the world.  If only altruism were always this much joy. And if you wear earplugs, or sometimes worry you won’t hear your alarm, the Little Rooster is ideal for you.  Flat – not curved – where it counts.  Many pleasure toys are curved.  The Little Rooster’s base is flat.  Whether you are waking or enjoying an erotic break you will love the Little Rooster’s intimate closeness.  Beautifully shaped from sensual polycarbonate.  One of the most beautiful, sensual production materials in the world, both in how it looks and how it feels.  You would almost want to put it down your knickers even if it didn’t vibrate.  And it looks so innocent it could be your bedside clock between uses.  You can even set it just to beep.  If you really want to. Safe.  Fully tested against every eventuality.  And unlike many pleasure toys, the Little Rooster contains no phthalates. Uses green PWM technology.  Designed to use less electricity.  Contains rechargeable batteries. Patent Pending. Design Registered.  There is nothing else on earth like the Little Rooster. Comes with a 30 day money back no quibble guarantee: Try it for a month. If you decide to part with it for any reason, return it to us and we will promptly refund the full purchase price as well as your cost of posting it back to us.  We believe that once you’ve tried the Little Rooster, you won’t want to wake any other way. The Little Rooster.  Why wake any other way?  Holy sweet Jesus, where has this been all my life?  I am speechless. And filled with envy. I needed this, like, yesterday!!

transfigure-this:

nakedhermione:

A completely new way of waking.  An alarm clock that wakes you with pleasure.

The lowest settings are almost imperceptible. The Little Rooster does not wrench you from your sleep.  

Then the power slowly increases.  The Little Rooster wakes you gradually, sensually, tenderly.

What makes the Little Rooster really special is that delicious semi-conscious state when you’re not yet quite awake. Other alarms tear those precious moments from you. The Little Rooster not only lets you savour them, it makes them even dreamier.  Whether you leap straight out of bed or let it run its lazy course, no other clock will wake you with this joyful secret thrill.

Fits your body perfectly.  The Little Rooster curves comfortably around your pubic mound, inside your knickers but outside your body.  The wide flat head stabilises the Little Rooster against your pubic bone and is exceptionally thin for maximum comfort.  The vibrating leg rests against your clitoris and labia.  No part of the Little Rooster is worn internally.  

Most women become completely unaware of the Little Rooster within a minute of slipping it into their knickers.  Toss and turn and it will stay in place.  You can even walk around wearing your Little Rooster.  Can be soothing for long journeys.  Please do not use during take off and landing.

Fully personalisable.  Adjust how gently it starts, how intense it gets, the snorgasm level, how long it lasts.  The Little Rooster has thirty power levels, for precision pleasure.  The motors even run while you set them, so you can tell exactly how powerful the feeling will be.

Snooze.  The classic way to catch an extra wink.

Snorgasm.  A pleasure-snooze, as gentle as you wish. Lets you drift off and enjoy a ten-minute erotic slumber.

Play.  Slide the switch to ‘play’ and it’s a stunningly shaped variable speed two-motor pleasure toy.  Take control once you are awake - or whenever the mood takes you. 

Two motors for extra throb.  One motor feels great, two is something else. They interact with each other, throbbing, pulsating. If you’ve tried a dual motor pleasure toy before, you’re probably a convert. If you haven’t, you’re in for a treat.

And extra power.  The Little Rooster’s stimulation goes from butterfly to beast.  

Twenty seven silent settings.  Plus three extra powerful “turbo” levels.  For those moments when intensity is the the only thing that counts.

It is perfect for early risers. Waking you with pleasure, it bothers no-one else with noise.  The Little Rooster is the most considerate alarm clock in the world.  If only altruism were always this much joy.

And if you wear earplugs, or sometimes worry you won’t hear your alarm, the Little Rooster is ideal for you. 

Flat – not curved – where it counts.  Many pleasure toys are curved.  The Little Rooster’s base is flat.  Whether you are waking or enjoying an erotic break you will love the Little Rooster’s intimate closeness. 

Beautifully shaped from sensual polycarbonate.  One of the most beautiful, sensual production materials in the world, both in how it looks and how it feels.  You would almost want to put it down your knickers even if it didn’t vibrate.  And it looks so innocent it could be your bedside clock between uses.  You can even set it just to beep.  If you really want to.

Safe.  Fully tested against every eventuality.  And unlike many pleasure toys, the Little Rooster contains no phthalates.

Uses green PWM technology.  Designed to use less electricity.  Contains rechargeable batteries.

Patent Pending. Design Registered.  There is nothing else on earth like the Little Rooster.

Comes with a 30 day money back no quibble guarantee: Try it for a month. If you decide to part with it for any reason, return it to us and we will promptly refund the full purchase price as well as your cost of posting it back to us.  We believe that once you’ve tried the Little Rooster, you won’t want to wake any other way.

The Little Rooster.  Why wake any other way? 

Holy sweet Jesus, where has this been all my life?

 I am speechless. And filled with envy. I needed this, like, yesterday!!

(Source: girlargueswithtree, via singthestars)

[W]hen you teach adults and children sex-negative messages, sex becomes an undifferentiated mass of “wrong.” If all sex is wrong, then why try to tease out good from bad, pleasurable from painful? When students are taught not to think about sex, they aren’t going to spend any time determining what they do and don’t want, or what they might be interested in. Of course, they’re going to have sex eventually, but when it happens will they be able to communicate at all through the veil of guilt, shame, and self-loathing that sex negativity encourage?

—

Sex-Negative Education and the Spectre of Rape « Sex Positive Activism (via sexisnottheenemy)

GPOY. Even with terribly open-to-the-point-of-TMI parents, society teaches us this so hardcore that I have always had problems communicating about sex and it has never done anything good for me. Thank goodness, this has not ended up with getting sexually assaulted — and that makes me part of a privileged few, probably aided by the fact that I’ve had very few romantic partners and you’re statistically more likely to be assaulted by one — but it’s still made it difficult and a long ongoing process in feeling like I get to say “I want this” or “I don’t want this” or even knowing what it is I do want or am interested in or like my ability and desire to do things for other people is a good and okay thing (and yet at the same time, feeling ashamed when I can’t/don’t want to because of course that’s my job), to the point of feeling completely dissociated from my body at times.

And this is just off this quote. More reading later as I expect this whole article is awesome.

(via winged)

(via winged)

winged: yayponies: epanaphoric: christineleem: Bi Social Network is delighted to announce Alan Cumming has signed on our imagery series for the “I am Visible’ Campaign, to help fight biphobia and bi-erasure and to showcase and support visibility in the bi community. READ MORE I love this. I’m not going to get into a huge rant about sexuality here, but biphobia exists, both inside and outside of the LGBTQ community. I still remember being shot down by the society chair of my Uni’s LGBTQ society when I suggested we have a bisexual officer. “But we have a gay men’s officer and a lesbian women’s officer, doesn’t THAT cover it?” And, I remember members telling me in confidence they were bisexual but preferred to keep a gay identity because they knew how much flack bisexual members received from the rest of the society. Sigh. More positive marketing like this, thank you. bicorn pride. we are real! Yay! This makes me happy. Plus Alan Cumming is always awesome :D I’m glad he’s doing this because a lot of people do the “yeah, but he’s married to a woman” “oh but he’s with a man” thing about him as if it changes his identity and orientation completely.  The two worst/most overt experiences of biphobia I’ve experienced were in, respectively, a GLBTQ alliance and my freshman women’s studies class, both of which had felt like safe spaces before that happened. In both cases the authority figures were on my side, but it still didn’t help to have like 20 people arguing about sluttishness and disease and trendiness and ‘being too scared to identify’ and being one of like one or two people trying to yell HEY I EXIST AND I’M NOT LIKE THAT. It’s so prevalent and it’s so stupid. And it is an experience of erasure. In media (or the real world) if you’re dating someone of the same sex you’re suddenly gay and vice versa - and no one even talks about the option that you may change or go back and forth. If anything it’s a betrayal or a lack of decision or bravery if you do change from women to men or v.v. And when famous people talk about being bi/pansexual it’s treated as novel or trendy. Most of the time they don’t label themselves as bi or pansexual at all, which is fine and their prerogative but doesn’t help visibility. …the only thing about this ad that bothers me is the terrible font use. Impact, oh god WHY.

winged:

yayponies:

epanaphoric:

christineleem:

Bi Social Network is delighted to announce Alan Cumming has signed on our imagery series for the “I am Visible’ Campaign, to help fight biphobia and bi-erasure and to showcase and support visibility in the bi community. READ MORE

I love this. I’m not going to get into a huge rant about sexuality here, but biphobia exists, both inside and outside of the LGBTQ community. I still remember being shot down by the society chair of my Uni’s LGBTQ society when I suggested we have a bisexual officer. “But we have a gay men’s officer and a lesbian women’s officer, doesn’t THAT cover it?” And, I remember members telling me in confidence they were bisexual but preferred to keep a gay identity because they knew how much flack bisexual members received from the rest of the society. Sigh. More positive marketing like this, thank you.

bicorn pride. we are real!

Yay! This makes me happy. Plus Alan Cumming is always awesome :D I’m glad he’s doing this because a lot of people do the “yeah, but he’s married to a woman” “oh but he’s with a man” thing about him as if it changes his identity and orientation completely. 

The two worst/most overt experiences of biphobia I’ve experienced were in, respectively, a GLBTQ alliance and my freshman women’s studies class, both of which had felt like safe spaces before that happened. In both cases the authority figures were on my side, but it still didn’t help to have like 20 people arguing about sluttishness and disease and trendiness and ‘being too scared to identify’ and being one of like one or two people trying to yell HEY I EXIST AND I’M NOT LIKE THAT.

It’s so prevalent and it’s so stupid. And it is an experience of erasure. In media (or the real world) if you’re dating someone of the same sex you’re suddenly gay and vice versa - and no one even talks about the option that you may change or go back and forth. If anything it’s a betrayal or a lack of decision or bravery if you do change from women to men or v.v. And when famous people talk about being bi/pansexual it’s treated as novel or trendy. Most of the time they don’t label themselves as bi or pansexual at all, which is fine and their prerogative but doesn’t help visibility.

…the only thing about this ad that bothers me is the terrible font use. Impact, oh god WHY.

You have to question a cinematic culture which preaches artistic expression, and yet would support a decision that is clearly a product of a patriarchy-dominant society, which tries to control how women are depicted on screen. The MPAA is okay supporting scenes that portray women in scenarios of sexual torture and violence for entertainment purposes, but they are trying to force us to look away from a scene that shows a woman in a sexual scenario, which is both complicit and complex. It’s misogynistic in nature to try and control a woman’s sexual presentation of self. I consider this an issue that is bigger than this film. … There is something very distorted about this reality that they’ve created, which is that it is OK to torture women on screen. Any kind of violence towards women in a sexual scenario is fine. But give a woman pleasure? No way. Not a chance. That’s pornography.

—

Ryan Gosling, actor and feminist, in a letter protesting the NC-17 rating of Blue Valentine. The rating was based on one consensual sex scene.  (via marxisforbros)

Always reblog.

(via the-madame-hatter)

THIS needs to go on a Feminist Ryan Gosling pic.

(via winged)

(Source: snowstorminjuly, via winged)

A slut is someone, usually a woman, who’s stepped outside of the very narrow lane that good girls are supposed to stay within. Sluts are loud. We’re messy. We don’t behave. In fact, the original definition of “slut” meant “untidy woman.” But since we live in a world that relies on women to be tidy in all ways, to be quiet and obedient and agreeable and available (but never aggressive), those of us who color outside of the lines get called sluts. And that word is meant to keep us in line.

—Jaclyn Friedman (via newanddifferentsun)

(Source: rockandrollhigh, via winged)

We’ve created this aura around virginity as if one’s virginity is a real and tangible thing—but of course it isn’t. Sex and virginity are socially constructed concepts. Are you a virgin if you engage in oral sex? Are you a virgin if you’ve kissed a girl? Are you a virgin if it was just the tip? Are you a virgin if your hymen breaks from tampon-insertion? Always and forever accurate.

We’ve created this aura around virginity as if one’s virginity is a real and tangible thing—but of course it isn’t. Sex and virginity are socially constructed concepts. Are you a virgin if you engage in oral sex? Are you a virgin if you’ve kissed a girl? Are you a virgin if it was just the tip? Are you a virgin if your hymen breaks from tampon-insertion?

Always and forever accurate.

(via decidedlydapper)

What kind of relationship you have is your choice, and one choice isn’t better than another. What’s important is that you make a choice. That even if you’re monogamous, vanilla, and heterosexual—you’re doing it because it’s what you want and because you and your partner have agreed to it, not because that’s what people do. What’s important isn’t what path you take, but that you know there are paths.

Paths? Fuck, there’s an entire open world out there once you get past “man buys dinner, woman agrees to missionary PIV until he ejaculates. (Or rather, a world including “man buys dinner, woman agrees to missionary PIV until he ejaculates,” because, hey, if that’s your thing.) There’s a million goddamn ways to love, a billion things “partner” or “lover” or “fuckbuddy” or “spouse” can mean to you, and you get to decide.

Everyone should have a wife like me. Seriously, how many people get blow jobs and then have the person get up and make them raspberry rose cake? Everyone, gay, straight, bi, lesbian, queer, pansexual, anyone who wants to have sex, should find someone who will give them blow jobs and bake them cakes.

I think people should ask me questions about sex and sexuality. Not because I’m an expert in the field, but because I am a person with a lot of well thought out opinions and a lot of experience telling other people about sex and how it works.

I’m the girl who told first year students at university about the mechanics of lesbian sex, I’m the girl who bought my little sister her first package of condoms and lube, I’m the girl who explained masturbation to my best friend when we were teenagers and then left to room so she could practice. I’m not really good at being shy, but I’m good at helping people get started on the path to making their own decisions about their bodies and I like that about myself.

So what do you want to know? Go to my ask just because… I don’t want any creepy replies showing up for everyone else to have to see.

Museum of Sex

About a week and a half ago the wife and I went to NYC for a number of reasons, including to see our best friend for her birthday and to catch an amazing acoustic Patrick Wolf gig. But! While we were there we decided to stop by the epic Museum of Sex, primarily to see the Obscene Diary exhibition but also just to check it out in general.

The first floor of the museum didn’t hold much interest for me since it largely chronicled the origins of sex in film. My senior year of university I took a course on film and censorship so a great deal of the material in the exhibit was already familiar to me. I did really appreciate the discussion of alternative sexualities and genders in pornography though because we really didn’t address that in class since our text was written from a heterosexual, feminist perspective.

The second gallery had selections from the permanent collection including some gorgeous artwork by Picasso and Keith Haring in addition to some contemporary artists whose names I didn’t think to write down, unfortunately. There were also vintage pin up and nude postcards from the late Victorian era through the early 60s and a section on kink with some fabulously well made masks (gas, bunny, pony, rubber, etc). There was honestly so much that I can’t remember.

I cannot begin to sum up the Obscene Diary, go to the link, there was so much information but honestly, his life was bizarre and amazing and I’m kind of stunned by it all. I mean, he also came off as incredibly OCD, but I think that’s to our benefit in the study of human sexuality and especially in the study of gay life and sexuality during a particularly repressive era in American history.

There was also an interesting exhibition on sex in comics and graphic arts but we were running out of time before we had to leave to meet up with a friend for lunch so it was a super quick glance at everything.

We also stopped by the ridiculously named Oralfix bar downstairs for aphrodisiac (supposedly) sodas. I had an amazing rose-yuzu drink and the wife had lavender lemonade. The drinks tasted delicious and I kind of wanted to make out after, but let’s be honest, I’d also just wandered around an entire museum dedicated to sex for 2 hours so I’m not sure it can be entirely attributed to the sodas.

All in all it was a good trip though I do think the price of admission is pretty steep. It’s $18 or $18.50 per person and that seems like an awful lot. I know the cost to run the place must be astronomical, though, so I get it. I was just a bit shocked since I’m used to huge museums with reknowned artists from across the globe costing less.